Keeping the Big Picture in Mind

September 16, 2024

As parents, we want the best for our children. It hurts when they encounter setbacks or challenges. When they experience frustration or failure, we want to fix things so they don’t suffer.

Lessons Learned

However, physical and even emotional discomfort is a significant part of how we grow and learn. In fact, mistakes and failures have a number of benefits including an increase in self-confidence, creative thinking, problem-solving, and patience.

When children learn that they can overcome obstacles, they build self-confidence and are more willing to challenge themselves in new activities. In addition, when children can experiment and have room for error, they can explore and create new approaches, which leads to flexibility and expansive thinking.

Success requires time and continuous effort. When children aren’t afraid of failure, they understand that progressing isn’t always a straight line. Rather than being afraid and giving up when faced with difficulties, children are more willing to take a circuitous route, try different directions, or experiment with diverse options. This process also helps children develop logical thinking skills and the ability to solve problems confidently.

Home-School Partnership

So that our children can reap these benefits, it helps if we stay in communication about challenges that may arise. Whether social, emotional, academic, or intellectual, it’s inevitable that our children will experience some level of difficulty at some point in their school years. Our hope is that we can work as partners to identify any challenges or areas of discomfort, and also provide the structure, freedom, patience, and confidence to allow kids the opportunity to struggle.

In Montessori, we are well-trained to observe children, balancing both a deep awareness of developmental milestones and the knowledge that individual children have their own pace and trajectory as they develop as young humans. We recognize that some children may need additional support and we also want to make sure we aren’t rushing in too soon to rescue them, which can lead to a decrease in self-confidence and resilience.

A partnership between home and school means that we ask you to trust the process while also staying in dialogue with us about your hopes and fears for your child. Conversely, we commit to communicating what we observe about your child’s progress and areas for growth.

Over the many years of schooling and parenting, we’ve found that an investment in longer-term learning and growth necessitates tolerance for some shorter-term disappointment.

Communication Road Map

Good communication is the heart of positive partnerships! To that end, we offer some tips for cultivating and maintaining this long-term relationship in support of your child(ren). First and foremost, we rely upon timely communication and yet also want to respect everyone’s busy lives. If something comes up, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us to share what is on your mind. We want to better understand what your child is experiencing or any concerns you have.

We also ask that you consider a big-picture perspective. If your child complains about something bad happening, take a deep breath and acknowledge that they might need to let off some steam or just feel some big emotions. Listen without judgment and reflect back on what you hear. Once they are done, you can ask if they want some help solving the problem or communicating with someone at school.

It helps to think about how to set the stage for your child to be their own self-advocate. If they want help, you can offer to brainstorm solutions, draft an email together, or even role-play how to handle the situation differently. Often, though, our children just need to let out their upset or frustration so they can move on with their day. They need us, as parents, to be a safe place to vent.

When or if you do contact the school, please let us know if your child is aware that you are sharing your concerns or observations so we can approach the situation with the utmost respect and care.

It’s also important to remember that as adults, we are constantly modeling for our children. Approaching even challenging circumstances with thoughtfulness, care, and goodwill shows our children how they can tackle tough situations with grace.

Long-Term Goals

When we talk about what we want for our children, we often discover some common themes. We want our children to be adaptable, kind, and hard-working. We want them to be creative and confident in their own abilities. We want them to be self-reliant and independent, while also collaborating with others and learning from those with different perspectives. We want them to live peaceful lives, celebrate present moments, and have a sense of purpose.

While we don’t want to see our children struggle, one of the most important things we can offer them is the chance to confront and work through challenges. We commit to being your partner in this process. Please schedule a visit to the school, observe the classrooms, and connect with us about how we can work together!

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Language Revealed: The Montessori Journey to Understanding Pronouns

By Danielle Giordano • March 9, 2026

When children begin working with pronouns in Montessori, they are not learning something entirely new. Instead, they are bringing to consciousness language they already use every day. Pronoun work builds slowly and intentionally. It is not about mastering grammar rules, but about understanding how language functions and how meaning is carried when words stand in for one another. Beginning With Experience, Not Explanation Montessori pronoun work begins with movement and spoken language, not written grammar. We start with little oral games to highlight how a pronoun functions, sometimes eliminating the pronoun (“Josie and John and Jack and Josiah are walking around the table.”) and other times emphasizing the pronoun (“They are walking around the table.”). The children love acting out the phrases, sometimes chanting, moving, watching one another, and laughing. Through these physical experiences, they begin to notice that we don’t always use names when we speak. Certain words take the place of a noun, and the meaning is still clear. At this stage, we don’t offer the term pronoun because we want children to simply experience its function. From Movement to Sentences Once children are ready for more structured language work, we introduce them to the Pronoun Grammar Box so they can build and rebuild sentences using color-coded cards for each part of speech. From one sentence to the next, only a few words change as nouns get replaced by pronouns. By comparing sentences, children discover that although the word changes, the sentence still makes sense. This comparison is essential. Rather than being told what a pronoun is, children see what it does. We then invite children to add grammar symbols to the sentence (noun, article, adjective, verb, preposition, adverb) until we finally draw attention to the remaining word: “This word is used in place of a noun.” Only then do we introduce the pronoun symbol: a purple isosceles triangle, the height of the noun symbol. Montessori Lore: The Pronoun’s Story There’s a beloved story about the pronoun symbol. Long ago, the pronoun was shorter and a different color. Wanting to be as important as the noun, it stretched itself taller and taller to reach the same height. As it stretched, its base became smaller and it turned purple from the effort of standing in the noun’s place. It’s a poetic reminder of what children discover through their work: a pronoun depends on the noun, borrowing its meaning while standing in for it. Why Pronouns Come Later Pronouns are more abstract than other parts of speech. To understand a pronoun, children must already have a strong, concrete understanding of the noun. For this reason, pronouns (along with interjections) are typically introduced later than other grammar symbols, often in the elementary years. Even then, one lesson is not enough. In Montessori, the real learning happens after the presentation, when we step back and children work independently with the material. The guide’s role is to show how to use the material, not to explain grammar in detail. Understanding emerges through repeated use. Deepening Understanding Through Play and Exploration As children grow more confident, the work expands to include: Transposition games, where pronouns are removed or replaced to explore how meaning changes. Command cards, which physically isolate pronouns through action. Personal pronoun charts, introducing first, second, and third person (singular and plural) through storytelling. The Verb Family, where children explore the close relationship between the verb, adverb, and pronoun. Children discover that pronouns often work closely with verbs, helping to carry action and meaning through a sentence. Subtleties Come Later At first, Montessori avoids getting caught in fine distinctions. Over time, children may explore nuances such as the difference between possessive pronouns (the book is mine) and possessive adjectives (my book). These discussions often happen later, sometimes with the support of grammar references, once children have a solid foundation. Language Revealed, Not Taught Through this carefully layered progression of movement, sentence work, symbols, and exploration, children develop a deep understanding of how words function differently in sentences. Montessori grammar invites children to discover how language works at their own pace through hands-on exploration. We don’t rush this process. So by the time children are ready to name the pronoun, it’s not a new idea. It’s something they already know. We invite you to visit our classrooms in Old Saybrook, CT to see firsthand the children’s joy of learning!

Sleep as a Skill: A Montessori Reflection for Baby Sleep Day

By Danielle Giordano • March 1, 2026

March 1 marks Baby Sleep Day

The Quiet Landing: Why Children Need Time After School

By Danielle Giordano • February 10, 2026

When we pick up our children from school, it’s almost automatic to ask, “How was your day?” And just as automatically, the answers tend to fall flat: fine, good, okay, or sometimes nothing at all. As adults, we can probably relate. When someone asks about our day, we don’t always feel like revisiting every detail, especially before we’ve had a chance to rest or reset. For children, this challenge is even greater. In Montessori environments, children are immersed in experiences that are rich, complex, and often difficult to put into words. How does a young child explain the sensorial experience of carefully carrying each cube of the Pink Tower across the room? Or describe the quiet satisfaction of discovering that ten tens create a hundred square? Or articulate the subtle social negotiations that happen during community lunch? Even for older children, language often lags behind experience. Why “How Was Your Day?” Can Feel Like Too Much As children move into the elementary years, they are also navigating peer relationships that are still very black and white. A single interaction can color their entire perception of the day. So their reports may sound overly simple: someone was mean, someone was nice, the day was bad, the day was good. But often, the issue isn’t that children don’t want to share. Instead, the timing is off. Research on children’s nervous systems helps explain why. When children walk out of school, their brains are often still in a state of high alert. Throughout the day they’ve managed noise, social expectations, concentration, corrections, and constant stimulation. Their nervous system hasn’t fully shifted out of “school mode” yet. So it helps if we remember that we aren’t greeting children in their most rational state. Those first minutes after pickup are a transition, not a conversation window. When we jump in with questions too quickly, even well-meaning ones, we may unintentionally overwhelm our children’s nervous system, which hasn’t had time to settle. Connection Before Conversation In Montessori, we place great importance on transitions. We know children need time to move from one state of being to another, whether that’s arriving at school, moving between activities, or going home at the end of the day. Instead of starting with questions, we can start with presence. When we first see our children, a warm greeting that communicates “I’m happy to see you” goes a long way. Some children need a snack. Some need quiet. Some need movement, proximity, or simply space. This is not the moment to gather information. This is the moment to re-establish connection. When families allow even 10 to 12 minutes of quiet decompression after school, through silence, music, or simply being together, children regulate more quickly. Evening stress decreases, cooperation improves, and children are more likely to talk voluntarily later on. Rather than interrogating right after school. Try coexisting. This pause is deeply respectful. When Children Are Ready to Talk Later, after your child has had time to settle back into your care, you may notice that conversation begins naturally. This is often when children share what mattered most to them, not what we might have thought to ask about. When you do open the door to conversation, gentle specificity helps. Broad questions like “How was your day?” can feel overwhelming. Instead, try comments that invite reflection without pressure: “I noticed you seemed really focused when I picked you up.” “I’m here if you want to tell me about something you worked on today.” “What felt good about today?” Just as important as the words is our availability. Putting down the phone, pausing the logistics, and showing with our body language that we are truly listening makes it safer for children to share. Listening for Timing, Not Just Content This approach applies across ages. Even adolescents benefit from what some call a “quiet landing” after school. When we honor timing, we’re less likely to walk into the emotional residue of the day and more likely to build cooperation and connection later. In Montessori, we often say: regulation comes before reflection. Children don’t need us to extract their feelings. They need us to create the conditions where feelings can land safely. Sometimes that looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like presence. And sometimes, after enough space has been given, it looks like a child finally saying exactly what mattered most. So the question isn’t just “Do I listen to what my child says?” And instead becomes: “Do I listen for when they’re ready to speak?” Curious to learn more strategies to support your child during transitions? Set up a time to come visit here in [Your Town/Location]. We love to connect! .