A Healthy Relationship with Work

August 19, 2024

As adults, our relationship with work is rather complicated. We pay others who have more expertise, more time, or more willingness to do work that we don’t know or want to do. We invent machines to work for us. We often aim for expediency and efficiency. We value our non-working time, like vacations, personal time, and leisure. We think about retiring early. Recently in history, there has also been a notion that we should find work that is the most fulfilling, makes use of our gifts, and follows through on our passions.

The Value of Work

However, the truth is that we, as humans, need to work to thrive. Often we find a sense of purpose, meaning, and connection through work. Those who have retired know how it feels to drop out of the social organization of productive human activity and perhaps wonder about contributing to the community, group, or society.

We establish our identity through work and, in the process, contribute to a complex web of interdependent activities we share with others. We provide service to others, and this gives us a sense of belonging. What we do to accomplish our purpose in life is our work.

“Joy, feeling one's own value, being appreciated and loved by others, feeling useful and capable of production are all factors of enormous value for the human soul.” – Dr. Maria Montessori, From Childhood to Adolescence

Purposeful Work

Appreciating the varied types of work we do in our lives to care for ourselves, to care for others, and to care for our environment, is not something we are particularly practiced at doing in our culture. Yet in Montessori, we prioritize these three pillars: care of self, care of others, and care of our surroundings. We recognize that children gain deep satisfaction through work that has purpose. They want to feel and be useful!

Work that is purposeful or meaningful comes from an internal drive, while also being connected to the environment and to others, which leads to a sense of responsibility. For our youngest children, this can be as simple as noticing that laundry needs to be folded or that snack needs to be prepared and then wanting to play a role in getting that work done. Older children may feel compelled to share their research or discoveries with classmates.

Adult Work vs. Children’s Work

In her observations of children, Dr. Maria Montessori began to see how the work of adults differs from the work of children. While adults work to minimize effort and make our external environment better meet our needs, children use their environment to develop their internal capacities. Because children’s work is their own development and self-construction, their work doesn’t follow the same patterns, look the same, or have the same outward manifestations as adult work.

More often than not, adults do not recognize children’s work for what it is, which can result in a kind of conflict between adults and children. Often adults try to keep children away from any adult work because children can seem to get in the way.

According to Dr. Montessori, this is primarily due to the complexities created by modern life. There was a time in human history when children’s need to self-construct through their own activities was more naturally and easily met by just being around as adults worked to secure food, build shelters, or make tools. This work was more immediate, concrete, and apparent. Children could observe, explore, imitate, and little by little participate in adult work.

But the work of modern humans is more complex and abstract, making adults’ work more inaccessible to children and thus making the presence of children often an interruption, distraction, or nuisance. As a result, children are often separated from the everyday work of adult life.

The Importance of Self-Construction

By nature, children are compelled to do work that ensures their own development. Children’s work is the work of self-construction. Often this work even feels like play!

In Montessori, we recognize the fact that children are forming who they will become as adults. Thus to fully support children’s work of self-construction, we offer children purposeful activities so they can learn how to contribute meaningfully to their communities. Our youngest children slice fruits and vegetables that are served for snack. They arrange flowers to make the classroom more beautiful. They sweep the floor and wipe the tables. As children get older they take on more responsibilities, from taking care of dishes to answering the phone, to running class meetings to organizing trips.

Beyond caring for themselves, each other, and the environment, we also help children develop a healthy relationship with intellectual challenges. Because the purpose is self-construction, rather than external rewards, children love to lean into learning. They see mistakes as opportunities for growth. They want to gain mastery. They delight in self-improvement.

Montessori children grow into adults who understand the value of work in its many forms. To see how this happens, come visit our school! We love to share what we do.

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Language Revealed: The Montessori Journey to Understanding Pronouns

By Danielle Giordano • March 9, 2026

When children begin working with pronouns in Montessori, they are not learning something entirely new. Instead, they are bringing to consciousness language they already use every day. Pronoun work builds slowly and intentionally. It is not about mastering grammar rules, but about understanding how language functions and how meaning is carried when words stand in for one another. Beginning With Experience, Not Explanation Montessori pronoun work begins with movement and spoken language, not written grammar. We start with little oral games to highlight how a pronoun functions, sometimes eliminating the pronoun (“Josie and John and Jack and Josiah are walking around the table.”) and other times emphasizing the pronoun (“They are walking around the table.”). The children love acting out the phrases, sometimes chanting, moving, watching one another, and laughing. Through these physical experiences, they begin to notice that we don’t always use names when we speak. Certain words take the place of a noun, and the meaning is still clear. At this stage, we don’t offer the term pronoun because we want children to simply experience its function. From Movement to Sentences Once children are ready for more structured language work, we introduce them to the Pronoun Grammar Box so they can build and rebuild sentences using color-coded cards for each part of speech. From one sentence to the next, only a few words change as nouns get replaced by pronouns. By comparing sentences, children discover that although the word changes, the sentence still makes sense. This comparison is essential. Rather than being told what a pronoun is, children see what it does. We then invite children to add grammar symbols to the sentence (noun, article, adjective, verb, preposition, adverb) until we finally draw attention to the remaining word: “This word is used in place of a noun.” Only then do we introduce the pronoun symbol: a purple isosceles triangle, the height of the noun symbol. Montessori Lore: The Pronoun’s Story There’s a beloved story about the pronoun symbol. Long ago, the pronoun was shorter and a different color. Wanting to be as important as the noun, it stretched itself taller and taller to reach the same height. As it stretched, its base became smaller and it turned purple from the effort of standing in the noun’s place. It’s a poetic reminder of what children discover through their work: a pronoun depends on the noun, borrowing its meaning while standing in for it. Why Pronouns Come Later Pronouns are more abstract than other parts of speech. To understand a pronoun, children must already have a strong, concrete understanding of the noun. For this reason, pronouns (along with interjections) are typically introduced later than other grammar symbols, often in the elementary years. Even then, one lesson is not enough. In Montessori, the real learning happens after the presentation, when we step back and children work independently with the material. The guide’s role is to show how to use the material, not to explain grammar in detail. Understanding emerges through repeated use. Deepening Understanding Through Play and Exploration As children grow more confident, the work expands to include: Transposition games, where pronouns are removed or replaced to explore how meaning changes. Command cards, which physically isolate pronouns through action. Personal pronoun charts, introducing first, second, and third person (singular and plural) through storytelling. The Verb Family, where children explore the close relationship between the verb, adverb, and pronoun. Children discover that pronouns often work closely with verbs, helping to carry action and meaning through a sentence. Subtleties Come Later At first, Montessori avoids getting caught in fine distinctions. Over time, children may explore nuances such as the difference between possessive pronouns (the book is mine) and possessive adjectives (my book). These discussions often happen later, sometimes with the support of grammar references, once children have a solid foundation. Language Revealed, Not Taught Through this carefully layered progression of movement, sentence work, symbols, and exploration, children develop a deep understanding of how words function differently in sentences. Montessori grammar invites children to discover how language works at their own pace through hands-on exploration. We don’t rush this process. So by the time children are ready to name the pronoun, it’s not a new idea. It’s something they already know. We invite you to visit our classrooms in Old Saybrook, CT to see firsthand the children’s joy of learning!

Sleep as a Skill: A Montessori Reflection for Baby Sleep Day

By Danielle Giordano • March 1, 2026

March 1 marks Baby Sleep Day

The Quiet Landing: Why Children Need Time After School

By Danielle Giordano • February 10, 2026

When we pick up our children from school, it’s almost automatic to ask, “How was your day?” And just as automatically, the answers tend to fall flat: fine, good, okay, or sometimes nothing at all. As adults, we can probably relate. When someone asks about our day, we don’t always feel like revisiting every detail, especially before we’ve had a chance to rest or reset. For children, this challenge is even greater. In Montessori environments, children are immersed in experiences that are rich, complex, and often difficult to put into words. How does a young child explain the sensorial experience of carefully carrying each cube of the Pink Tower across the room? Or describe the quiet satisfaction of discovering that ten tens create a hundred square? Or articulate the subtle social negotiations that happen during community lunch? Even for older children, language often lags behind experience. Why “How Was Your Day?” Can Feel Like Too Much As children move into the elementary years, they are also navigating peer relationships that are still very black and white. A single interaction can color their entire perception of the day. So their reports may sound overly simple: someone was mean, someone was nice, the day was bad, the day was good. But often, the issue isn’t that children don’t want to share. Instead, the timing is off. Research on children’s nervous systems helps explain why. When children walk out of school, their brains are often still in a state of high alert. Throughout the day they’ve managed noise, social expectations, concentration, corrections, and constant stimulation. Their nervous system hasn’t fully shifted out of “school mode” yet. So it helps if we remember that we aren’t greeting children in their most rational state. Those first minutes after pickup are a transition, not a conversation window. When we jump in with questions too quickly, even well-meaning ones, we may unintentionally overwhelm our children’s nervous system, which hasn’t had time to settle. Connection Before Conversation In Montessori, we place great importance on transitions. We know children need time to move from one state of being to another, whether that’s arriving at school, moving between activities, or going home at the end of the day. Instead of starting with questions, we can start with presence. When we first see our children, a warm greeting that communicates “I’m happy to see you” goes a long way. Some children need a snack. Some need quiet. Some need movement, proximity, or simply space. This is not the moment to gather information. This is the moment to re-establish connection. When families allow even 10 to 12 minutes of quiet decompression after school, through silence, music, or simply being together, children regulate more quickly. Evening stress decreases, cooperation improves, and children are more likely to talk voluntarily later on. Rather than interrogating right after school. Try coexisting. This pause is deeply respectful. When Children Are Ready to Talk Later, after your child has had time to settle back into your care, you may notice that conversation begins naturally. This is often when children share what mattered most to them, not what we might have thought to ask about. When you do open the door to conversation, gentle specificity helps. Broad questions like “How was your day?” can feel overwhelming. Instead, try comments that invite reflection without pressure: “I noticed you seemed really focused when I picked you up.” “I’m here if you want to tell me about something you worked on today.” “What felt good about today?” Just as important as the words is our availability. Putting down the phone, pausing the logistics, and showing with our body language that we are truly listening makes it safer for children to share. Listening for Timing, Not Just Content This approach applies across ages. Even adolescents benefit from what some call a “quiet landing” after school. When we honor timing, we’re less likely to walk into the emotional residue of the day and more likely to build cooperation and connection later. In Montessori, we often say: regulation comes before reflection. Children don’t need us to extract their feelings. They need us to create the conditions where feelings can land safely. Sometimes that looks like silence. Sometimes it looks like presence. And sometimes, after enough space has been given, it looks like a child finally saying exactly what mattered most. So the question isn’t just “Do I listen to what my child says?” And instead becomes: “Do I listen for when they’re ready to speak?” Curious to learn more strategies to support your child during transitions? Set up a time to come visit here in [Your Town/Location]. We love to connect! .